Tuesday, February 02, 2016

With all Due Retrospect


'Feels unreal. Seriously.' (I even heard an echo, I swear)

In the past too I have taken breaks from this space for months together, sometimes more than this one, yet this time round, it feels like the longest. I don't know why - it just seems so.

Returning to this space feels like coming back to a post-apocalyptic (pun wasn't intended!) blogosphere where you feel you're the only one left on this planet. No, seriously. I know it sounds dumb but to be honest I had no intention of returning today. Writing these opening lines are just my way of saying 'well, I'm here now - might as well pen something down'.

I'll come to the real reason of why I returned here later on, maybe toward the end of the post, but let me just put out those thoughts that took shape as I opened up this page. You know, in many ways it also feels like I'm talking to myself (remember the post-apocalyptic thing?). There was a time when I'd wait like an eager pup to open up this space and shoot those words out, mostly stories. I knew there were friends/readers waiting for those and I too was eager to get the feedback. Something tells me this post is going to remain unread for a long long time. Not that it bothers me. I know how this area works. Having gone for so long now, a lot has happened offline, in my life and in the lives of my regular blogger-friends as well; some of who have better (or shall we say busier) things to attend to, outside of this space. And some of them continue to blog too, God bless them. I visit them regularly though am not so regular at leaving comments these days (the 'why' of which is another post altogether).

Ok, coming back to the real reason of why I decided to peep in here today - it's silly actually if you really look at it closely, but I guess I just needed a place to vent.

Something happened this morning that had me thinking. I won't go into the details of what it was; it is irrelevant. I was actually in the middle of a discussion with a colleague when this happened. It was a message of sorts. I couldn't really grasp the depth of the message at the time, it all happened in a few moments. But later when I mulled over it, I realized how fragile our lives had become. The message like I said, wasn't really something to worry about a lot, it was a sincere one, one that I respected too - but when I thought about it again, replayed it back in my mind a few times...something snapped inside me. Like I'd been accused of something I wasn't even party to (in the real sense, at least). I actually laughed out a little while later, but try as I did, I just couldn't bring myself to mend the 'snap'. So I left it at that. Time will take care of it just as well.

I know, this sounds very much like the ending of 'Burn after Reading', but you know how it is, right..what with intolerance and browbeating being trends of the day. Suffice to say, my resolve to steer clear of unnecessary emotional tetherings has only gotten stronger.

So, from here on, I'm only going to focus on the most important things that need to be taken care of, and nothing else.

Oh, and a happy new year to all of you (yeah, yeah...it's February. I know). May you achieve whatever it is you set out to achieve in these 365 days.

Sorry... 366.


****

10 comments:

CookieCrumbs Inc. said...

Looks like someone had an epiphany :P

happy new year! :)

and I know exactly what you means when you say "post-apocaplyptic" :/

Kanthu said...

And you won't believe this. I opened blogger after a looong time. And yours is the first post I saw, the post you wrote after a long time. Spooky. :P :D

Tarang Sinha said...

It happens. We tend to think too much about something that's not actually important. Just realized I'm not the only one!

But, you know it's a total waste of time. Sometimes, we waste our time thinking about a person (who said something or we said something to him/her) who isn't even thinking about that particular incidence/conversation.

Even if it's a random post, it manages to hold the interest of the reader. Your famous unpredictability quotient.

The Meditating Lion said...

:D

phatichar said...

PV: Hahaha.. epiphany is was, but then such epiphanies keep happening with me. On a side note; sincere apologies for not making it to THE day - mom was unwell (she's better now); details offline. Take care :)

Kanthu: Man, that IS spooky. How've you been? Long long time..

Tarang: :) Thank you, Sinha ji.

TML: Funny, eh, 'mommy'? :D

kismitoffeebar said...

:)

Nikita Banerjee Bhagat said...

Need to promise myself to dwell on utmost necessary things only. Good read this!

kismitoffeebar said...

And you are on another break again I see! :(

RustyN said...

Hey there, not sure if you are checking your blog to see the comment section, but it's been a while and I thought of saying Hi :)
In case you are wondering who this is, Rustyneurons from yore and beyond :)
How have you been?
Loads to catch up, in case you have a mail-id lemme know.

Regards,
Rusty

phatichar said...

Of course I remember you - 2 stories a day person :). Yeeaah, I don't blog these days, been meaning to, tho. Mail me sure - smuliya@gmail.com