Friday, April 20, 2012

Forever Red


The blue Indica was at the traffic signal at around 10 pm.

“Sir, toy gun for your kids?” said a hawker

 “Don’t want.”

 “I insist,” the hawker said, pulling the trigger.
  
****

From the shadows, he watched the traffic pile up angrily behind the stationery Indica. He fished out his mobile phone.

“It’s done.”

****
at

19 comments:

  1. Visha12:43 PM

    Gory 55

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  2. the little princess12:43 PM

    Sirjee, crisp and to the point! nice.. btw long absence?

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  3. sumitra2:08 PM

    Awesome! Nice to see you back.

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  4. Kanthu3:43 PM

    So wat shall I say..?? I strongly feel like saying, "I told you so"...;-)

    And about the 55 fictions, "Short and Stunning", literally...;p

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  5. phatichar3:51 PM

    Visha: :P

    Princess: Thank you..ah yes, been a bit busy lately :)

    Sumitra: Thank you, ma'am. :)

    Kanthu: LOL..ok ok, you can go ahead and say that.. ;-)

    Thanks, pal.

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  6. Tongue-fu Lady5:19 PM

    oh wow, reminds me of the contract killer from Kahaani, Bob Biswas :P

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  7. phatichar6:31 PM

    TFL: LOL..seriously? Wait, ek minute... :P

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  8. Rohini10:26 PM

    wou!! short and sweet! :D

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  9. CD!!!10:33 PM

    hehe.....agree with Tongue-fu-Lady......It did remind me of Bob Biswas :)

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  10. phatichar10:37 PM

    Rohu: :)

    CD: *sigh...the powers of bollywood - now Bob Biswas is a benchmark - and here I was, thinking my killers (much older than BB) were deadly. :P :P

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  11. Rahul9:14 AM

    Nomoskar.Ami Bob Biswas.Ek minute. ;-)

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  12. cmus3:13 AM

    Slowly shifting to crime fiction? :)

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  13. phatichar7:31 AM

    Rahul: :p et tu?

    Cmus: shifting? Naah, had only drifted away from it...slowly getting 'back' to it - archives full odilla ansuthe? :)

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  14. Soumya2:29 PM

    Comparing your posts to Bollywood would be an insult.

    To your posts ofcourse :D

    Awesome writing.

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  15. alice10:55 AM

    hey.. IMO, the story would have been better without the 'From the shadows...' part. That way you could leave the reader wonder whether the hawker was psycho, or he had a 'supari' or something else entirely. :)

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  16. phatichar9:17 PM

    Alice: thx...not sure if it's a good idea to puzzle the reader in a 55# thingy in the first place - too little room to play around as it is :p

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  17. Varsha1:54 PM

    hmnn....too many contract killers..

    Crisp one!

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  18. The Meditating Lion2:32 PM

    Bloody hell! :D Im so glad i came here

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  19. phatichar3:35 PM

    Varsha: hehehe :P

    ML: Welcome! Finally.. :)Thanks a lot.

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