Monday, June 20, 2011

55 word challenge (pilot)

"Aankhen chaar"

Their eyes met at the traffic signal. He smiled.

He was still smiling as his car moved. She smiled back.

The oncoming Volvo bulldozed his car, climbed it… and toppled, landing right on top of hers. Both were still smiling when cops pulled their mangled bodies out. Cops were baffled – “they were happy to die?”


******

19 comments:

Red Handed said...

Ouuuuuuuuuch!!

kunal said...

Both seem to have slow reactions :) They would have made a nice couple..

Need more fresh material, although I enjoy reading the "blasts from the past" there is nothing like new stories :)

abhilasha said...

ha ha ha!!!... and they died and kept smiling ever after.. such a jinxed moment...

Tongue-fu Lady said...

shortest love story ever heard..perfect!!

phatichar said...

Red Handed: ouch indeed... :-)

kunal: aayega, aayega..patience dost! :-)

How've u been? how're the book reviews comin' along? I read ur reviews; pretty good - only haven't commented on 'em. Will do some day. take care.

abhilasha: jinxed? it's a first 'n last jinx, i say :P

TFLnice na? :P

Priyanka said...

*mouth open*

Nikita Banerjee said...

Gosh.

phatichar said...

Priyanka: Welcome.. :) (err..I think you should close your mouth now) :P

Nikita: Welcome here.. :)

Diwakar Sinha said...

wonder if the driver in the Volvo too was smiling at someone on the other side of the road. :P

Nisha said...

their eyes seem to say.. i can die for you babe/dude!
and they proved it.more funny than emotional..!

Nirav said...

wow!

phatichar said...

Diwakar: You won't believe it - I thought about the bus driver (not to mention the passengers) as well, but oh well - there's only so much action one can pack in 55 words, eh? :-)

And oh btw, welcome!

Nisha: Hello. Welcome here :) And oh yeah, the dark humor was intentional.

Nirav: ;-)

Deepika said...

Oh...
Hey i was browsing through something and came across your blog. Couldn't resist reading furhter, went thru some and must say you write really well. Your stories are interesting.
Keep up the good work.

phatichar said...

Deepika: Welcome, and thanks. :)

Shruti said...

HaHa.

This was Funny. And what's funnier is your display name! :D

Drop in some time :-)

Neha said...

Awww.... achcha khaasa romance bud kar raha tha :(

phatichar said...

Shruti: Thanks, wonderful to have you here; equally wonderful to've dropped by your blog. You're brilliant with verse.

Neha: 'bud' ka 'gud-bud' kar dittha, nai?

Damyanti said...

Short, and not sweet. Very well written. Thanks for stopping by my blog and your comment on the Elemental!

phatichar said...

Damyanti: Thanks...you write well! keep it up. :)