Saturday, August 25, 2012

Time up


It was now or never. The contract had to be taken en route to the airport, before he fled the country. He looked at his radium watch. 15 more minutes.

But when nature calls…

He stepped aside into the darkness for a moment.

He returned only to see his gun missing. Panic. Boss would kill him. He looked around frantically. Who could steal a gun here?

He heard a chuckle and turned. The local tramp...the retard.

Shit, not now.

“Give it back,” he said.

“Hands up!” Said the tramp and cackled.

5 more minutes.

“Give it back, you madman,” he growled, taking a step forward.

“Step back or I’ll shoot,” mimicked the tramp, like a movie cop.

“Listen, it’s not a toy. It’s a real gun.”

“Oh yeah? What fun,” said the tramp...

…and pulled the trigger.

****

28 comments:

aks said...

Forgive me for pointing this out- is there a better word to describe someone with obvious developmental disabilities apart from "retard". It is kind of very offensive. Besides I don't really think " retard" is used in any other context but a slang, moreso in prose. It is also officially a politically incorrect word too.
Again, my apologies for needling on something that you might not have given a second thought to :)

phatichar said...

Of course it is offensive, but then so was the job the killer was about to do. It's the way hedescribes the tramp in his mind.....not mine.

If you could come up with a politically correct word any gangster/killer uses or thinks in their day to day work, maybe you could give a second thought to it and let me know. Yeah? :)

'Sup? Long time here. All well?

aks said...

How does 'raving imbecile' sound? all well and what do you mean long time? I am forever parked on your blog! :)

phatichar said...

aks: ha ha..yeah, sure - if the killer has a degree in English.

Errm..oh you are, aren't ya? "My bad" ;-)

aks said...

haha "My bad" one of your pet peeves to ? ;)

Me said...

I like the way you narrate some of the most visible yet unnoticed incidents of life so beautifully...

Could not have imagined this end at all when I began reading this one.. and thank God this is not a horror story :)

goingbeyondthepages said...

I was wondering whether again there will be some ghost jumping from somwhere. Liked it :)

Nirvana said...

that was a fresh one!! nice and crisp!

TTT said...

for once I was able to predict the end !! ( well er almost ... i also had the tramp turning into a ghost as end in my mind)

Varsha Naik said...

ah...good one

Pooja said...

Hey why no Ghost? :) the moment i start reading your stories i keep waiting for the ghost to appear :), good one though.

Red Handed said...

damn!!!! He just shudnt hav told :/

Soumya said...

Fresh and neat :)

More interesting is the conversation between you and aks :D

Blue Lotus said...

I liked it..Missed the ghosts though ;-)

phatichar said...

Me: Thank you :). Yeah, decided to give the ghosts some rest.

GBTP: :) Thx...

Nirvana: Thank you!

T3: :D

Varsha: Thanks, doc. :)

Pooja: I know..expect the unexpected some times.. :P

Red: Yeah..no?

Soumya: Thank you ma'am. ;-)

BlueLotus: Me too :P

Anisha Pradahn said...

What Luck!

❤Not Just My Allegories❤

Destination Infinity said...

Maybe it was another professional killer, hired to kill him and disguised as a tramp?

Destination Infinity

Erratic Thoughts said...

This looks like an excerpt from a book...and yet it is holding its own...
Meaning a full length book is expected :D This reader is becoming very greedy…very very greedy :D

I wonder if the Local tramp was a devil in disguise, hmmm?!
You leave a lot to the reader’s imagination, I like it :)

phatichar said...

Anisha: :) yeah..indeed.

Destination: That's a thought! :P

ET: Kya junior, tu bhi.. :P

Sunakshi said...

Wow is the word. :)

the little princess said...

bombaat! (that sums it all up doesn't it?)

kismitoffeebar said...

Ushappa! Gun-nu, hushaaragirbekappa !

phatichar said...

Sunakshi: Thank you! :)

princess: ha ha..houdu.. :P

toffee: alwa? :P :D

Keirthana said...

What? That's it? No ghost? :P :P

Keirthana

phatichar said...

Keirthana::P :D

Bikramjit said...

Thats why they say sometimes silence is golden,, if only he had kept his mouth shut :) and not given away the idea

phatichar said...

Bikram: :) True, true..

Visha said...

Crisp.

Better to have handled the situation with silence than words :)