Monday, September 05, 2005

House arrest

You've got to move on in life. Well, that's a cliched philosophy which all of us know, almost from our mothers' wombs. But you know, it's a funny thing how it feels when you get to see, touch or feel that particular item from your past. Recently we moved residence. We lived in that house for almost 6 years. So, we were pretty close to our neighbors and especially close to the couple right opposite. We hook up every now and then, over weekends, for a drink or two, generally just chatting up. They love Aayu and the li'l one goes all nuts at the mention of their names. We were there last night. As we tiptoed out at about midnight, I saw our old house. 6 years. A whole truck load of memories associated with it. Aayu learned to walk in that house, Aayu did this, did that. There is a memory sticking to every window pane, every brick of that house. And strangely, last night, in the pale street light, an unfamiliar car parked in front, new set of curtains hanging inside the windows, suddenly I felt detached, like I were watching a house I never lived in. I know it's funny, cause even now, when I think of all those cozy moments we three had in the house, or whenever I think of some family activity that brings a smile on my lips, I imagine that house. But when I stood in front of it in person, expecting that magical moment, it never came. It felt strange.

15 comments:

Kahini said...

That's because it's already a memory, I think. You have have already moved on.

Prerona said...

I've felt this about people, places and even times ... we dont really love, or miss, or remember the thing itself but its image in us, or maybe what or who we were in them ... those times, that 'us', those feelings ... somepart of the thing and somepart of us ... merged to become something else and thats what we miss ... and yet thats what we carry in us, as well

Prerona said...

Hmmm! Got it :)

n.g. said...

well, i moved home last year in september and everytime i visit friends in the old building, i feel nothing for my old place. not a thing. and i dont think its because i moved on, i think its because it was never home.

Twilight Fairy said...

maybe that's why at times, its best to leave old memories as they are.. cherishable.. instead of facing reality and ruining them forever..

Ph said...

yup, know what you mean.

Khushee said...

I understand what you are saying :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Yes, Phatichar, that was wonderful... but I think the very fact that you could look at your house like a distant observer is an achievemnt in itself...

aqua said...

i wish it was the same with other things too...but maybe another cliche here..time. :)

KJ said...

i exactly know how u feel. we had to leave our house suddenly when it collapsed in rains 18 yrs ago. we still cannot let go of the memories of our home. but we have gone ahead in life, only memories left behind.

have a nice day...

phatichar said...

Kahini: True...

Prerona:phew! Quite an analysis, I must say :)

nish:Yeah, but in my case, this was very much home, at least in thought. It was a home...but still... well...

Twilight Fairy: oh well, that's true for most things I guess..but then again...

Ph: hmmm, :)

Khushee: :) long time huh? how've you been?

Sudipta: :)

aqua: yep, time does play a role...

kj: u take care too...

shub said...

:)

phatichar said...

shub: hey girl...wassup? how've u been? :)

Parna said...

strange. i lived in a house for about 14 years. and even now when i dream (really!) i see that house and not the one we have been for almost 10 years now. but when i go to visit that place, i feel like a stranger. maybe it is cos a place has some meaning cos of the people associated with it. when the people leave, the place is just a bunch of memories - sweet/sour. else it is just another 4 walls. hope the new place has loads of warm nights (and days) ahead of it.

phatichar said...

parna: hmmm, that's how it is, I guess..I've felt that too when I revisited the house where I grew up