Thursday, March 29, 2012

A (not so) tall order...


This was my very first 55-fiction, about seven years ago.


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He stood behind her in the elevator, a good four inches shorter. His hands accidentally brushed her bag, dropping it.

“Oops,” he said

“It’s ok,” she said, smiling.

He smiled back, and swiftly wound the metal string round her neck, tightening the noose until she slumped on the floor, still smiling at him.

Lovely eyes...

****

27 comments:

Varsha Naik said...

*gulp*

I'm leaving, paranoid than before...

CD!!! said...

haha.....This is not funny but the thoughts that came into my mind after reading this definitely are!

He killed with the metal string and you kill with your posts :P

lilac said...

gosh! this is the reason i was looking for the right time to visit ur blog n i kept procrastinating till i couldn't resist!

phatichar said...

Varsha: Come on now.. :P

CD: Oh, don't worry, very soon I won't have any visitors left. :P I think my previous story has done enough damage.

Which could mean two things:

1)The story was convincing enough to prove that I have some sort of writing ability in me

2)My online friends will slowly deplete in numbers, and that'll be the price I pay for my writing. But I'll move on. I always have.. :)

Take care.. :)

phatichar said...

lilac: He he...maybe I should stop writing. Solves everybody's problem :D

Rohu said...

shut up ho jao! The last one was a masterpiece. Woh spook hi kya jo daraye na.. Bram Stoker isnt famous for bng moderately scary.. :P

Rahul said...

Agent Phatichar executes another smooth kill!!!!!!!Wait for your next mission...........

sumitra said...

Gasp! Awesome. See, I came back after all. No, please don't stop writing, that would be such a shame.

Mirage said...

HELLO...I am back in the Bhoot Bangla!! =]

Firstly, I wish you'd written an abstract of your previous story because I am so tempted to read the whole series but my lazy bones activate every time I look at the number!!!! Ahem....you listening? :P

Now coming to this post, you have once again, successfully scared me with your Bhoot(s). Congratulations! And that is all I wish to say.
Over and out!

phatichar said...

Rohu: :P

sumitra: Gee, thanks! With kind words such as yours, I have no choice but to continue, do I? :)

Mirage: If this post scared you, then you're better off not reading the previous story, long or short.

But remember - "You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave".... :P

phatichar said...

Rahul: Aye, Aye...captn. Binod! :P

Of Prisms and Lives said...

Eh ... wud u believe this ????
I read this story , clicked on the 2005 bar , and then on the month of September . And u know, what I found , right ???!!
Can't expln how this happened!I haven't gone thru all ur stories ever bfor ...heheh O.o

Soumya said...

:O

Now, we're talking :D

Welcome back Sherlock :D

Revacious said...

Arre baap re!!
I like to think your posts are a public service thingy. I'll never bend down in an elevator with a creepy guy now. O:)

kismitoffeebar said...

Oh, pls dont stop writing :) We all love reading yoour posts no matter how spooky they get !

I especially like the way you title them ! :)

Introvert said...

Nice!

phatichar said...

OPL: Ha ha...can happen only on my blog, huh? Go ahead, read 'em. :P

Soumya: Thank you, ma'am! :D

Revacious: Err..public service..oh, ok I got it. BTW, did you read the previous story? :P

Toffee: Thanks, no..I won't. :)

Introvert: Thank you, and welcome! :)

CD!!! said...

You won't have visitors left!!! :O Dude! I am sure you will be getting visitors from the other world also! About previous story, well, I guess we all are scared to offend you now :P It was THT AWESOME!!

1) The story was very convincing, VERY! You are one hell of a writer!!
2)Your online friends would deplete! haha.....Good one :D

And do NOT stop writing!! Only you have the powers to scare us.....atleast me :P

Shreya said...

Did she come back as a ghost to haunt the shorty in your next 55-fiction?? Did she????

phatichar said...

CD: LOL... thanks for the encouraging words..visitors from the other world - that about sums it up. :P

Shreya: Ha ha...maybe she should...no, but she hasn't. :D

Psst..waiting for you to read the previous story (if you're interested, that is) :)

the little princess said...

woh story hi kya jo apna mission accomplish na kare?!! and ur stories do just that! matlab...they have that effect with which they are written. U should be patting urself on the back!

and...no one will leave ur blog sirjee...we'll keep coming back, to be spooked! cheers!

phatichar said...

princess: Thank you..those words mean a lot. Believe me. :) Thanks a lot.

~anu~ said...

malignant humor this one.. only you could think of this!! good going :)

Keirthana said...

Everytime I think I cannot take anymore of your ghost stories but I still can't help myself from reading your stories. Your bhooths are irresistible :P

Keep rocking :)

phatichar said...

anu: Wow, look who's back after so long! Welcome back.. :) and thanks.

Keirthana: Err...but there's no 'bhooth' in this one :S :P

cmus said...

Ah, you had an awesome start to 55-fiction!

I feel like strangling myself when I compare this with *my* first one.

phatichar said...

cmus: are you kiddin' me? ur first one was bang on...i was rolling on the floor with that one..